The Crucial, Heinous Process of Revision
Or “How I Learned to Love the Red Pen”
February 2, 2024
Dear Writers,
First, a shout-out to my artist/writer friend Emily Poole who just sold two books to Mountaineers Books. One of them is about salamanders! Inspired by last month’s newsletter, we had coffee in my writing studio and she recounted the adventures of salamander hunting with her co-author/nature writer Tom Titus. You can see and purchase Emily’s gorgeous artwork right here: Emily Poole Art & Design (epooleart.com) (I just bought her wildflower blanket, and it added elegance to my scrappy little studio.)
Can we talk about manuscript revision?
I revise . . . a lot. No one—not even my husband—sees my first draft because it looks like something the cat dragged in from a muddy gutter. But some of you might find my revision process useful, so I'll share a couple of paragraphs with you.
First, I write at least two more drafts after a hideous first draft. I print them out and scribble corrections on each page of the manuscript. Here’s what that looks like:
While I’m reading each page of my manuscript, here’s what I do:
Check one more time for any grammar/punctuation errors.
Cut superfluous words to pick up my pace & keep readers engaged.
Make sure each scene appeals to at least four of the reader’s senses.
Assess each scene for characterization and setting details and add more where needed.
Highlight all the conflict in each scene in blue, and all the surprising elements in each scene in yellow, making sure I have plenty of both and an equal balance.
I look back at my scene cards from Lisa Cron’s Story Genius template and make sure each scene still reflects my characterization, action, and third-rail details on that card…if not, I revise my scene or my scene card.
Finally, I read each chapter out loud to check for pacing, wordiness, believable dialogue, typos, and anything else I might not spot when I’m merely reading on the computer or on paper.
Here’s an example of my first draft versus my second draft of a scene:
Really Hideous First Draft
Mary walked to the bathroom. Small, the size of a closet, really, with just enough room for the commode and a bathtub and sink. She looked at herself in the mirror hung over the sink. Pressed her hands against her stomach. She’d missed her monthly; it didn’t take a scientist or her mother to know what that, combined with the cramps that wracked her abdomen, revealed. She was pregnant, the worst possible fate that could befall a performer.
She stared into her blue eyes in the mirror. What was she going to do? A baby would ruin everything—her ability to perform alongside Hap on the stage, her ability to fly alongside him in this circus he was organizing with his old war friend and some waitress they’d picked up in the Midwest. She couldn’t have a baby, she told herself. What did one do when they couldn’t have a baby?
SECOND DRAFT, BUT OMG, THIS STILL NEEDS WORK
Back in the apartment, Mary locked the door behind him and took off her shoes and peeled off her stockings. She wiggled her toes, trying to warm them up, and shivered her way to the bathroom. It was tiny, the size of a closet, with just enough room for the commode and a bathtub and sink.
She met her own eyes in the mirror hung over the sink and pursed her lips. Slowly, she shook her head at her stricken reflection and pressed her hands against her stomach. She’d missed her monthly; it didn’t take a scientist or her mother to diagnose the the cramps that wracked her abdomen. She was pregnant, the worst possible fate that could befall a female performer.
She stared into her eyes in the mirror. What was she going to do? A baby would ruin everything—her ability to perform alongside Hap on the stage, her ability to fly alongside him in this circus he was organizing with his old war friend. She couldn’t have a baby, she told herself. He’d kick her out of the act, divorce her and find another girl.
What did one do when they couldn’t have a baby?
She remembered Margaret Sanger, the indefatigability of the woman who’d spent the night in jail after the police chief escorted her from the hall, then promptly booked another talk for three nights later. Mary had missed that lecture, auditioning for the vaudeville agent. She would have to find a sympathetic doctor, a clinic of some sort to help her deal with the problem of this pregnancy. Surely, someone would understand her predicament.
What did other performers do? Not be idiotic, she thought ruefully. Other performers took precautions against pregnancy.
Did I use an adverb? I did. I'm lazy. I'll delete it in draft three. Did I use the word “indefatigability”? Is that even a word? If I had to read that out loud at a bookstore podium, I’d tie my tongue in knots. It’s gotta go.
Honestly, it’s excruciating to share even a little piece of a second draft. Hopefully, it’ll be useful to readers!
Where I’ll Be Soon
February 7-10, 2024: I’ll moderate the panel titled “Bullet Journaling, Car Retreats & Barney: 10 Hacks for Writing while Parenting and Writing” and speak on the panel titled “Intellectual Disability: An Inclusive Panel” at the AWP (Associated Writing Programs) Conference and Bookfair in Kansas City. The latter marks the first time AWP has included panelists with Down syndrome!
February 17, 2024: I’ll teach an online workshop on writing and publishing personal essays for Sacramento Writers’ Club. I’m pretty sure all are welcome. If not, invite me to come and talk for your own writers’ club!
April 4-8, 2024--I’m teaching a powerful and supportive workshop titled “Crafting Your Memoir” at the stunningly-beautiful Playa Summer Lake in Central Oregon. Registration has just opened, and this workshop will sell out quickly. Contact me with any questions at all—I can’t emphasize enough how lovely Playa will be in April!
April 26-28th, 2024—I’m one of the featured workshop speakers at Oregon Writers’ Colony’s annual conference held at the charming Sylvia Beach Hotel in Nye Beach on the central coast. We’ll be talking about how to plan and write book-length memoir, but those working on short memoir will find plenty of useful and inspiring information, as well. This is going to be an intimate, inspiring three-day event with plenty of low-key networking and lots and lots of great coffee with strangers destined to become friends.
What I’m Publishing
I have work forthcoming in Good Beer Hunting and Atlanta Magazine. But the piece I’m most excited about drops on February 13th. It’s a longform essay titled “The Vaudevillian Ghosts of Liberty” in the online travel/history magazine Hidden Compass, and the webpage will include historic photos and an interview about my research process.
I’ve long adored this magazine; I wrote about their innovative methods of paying their freelance journalists a living wage for Study Hall.
A Few Cool Resources for Writers
· “It didn’t happen like that!” If you write memoir, you’ve probably heard this phrase from family members or friends who read your writing. Memoirists have long struggled to defend their memories of events; this episode of Hidden Brain provides a fascinating look at how our brain remembers (and creates) memories. Are Your Memories Real? | Hidden Brain Media
· As the parent of an only child, I bow to Renee Emerson whose essay (10) How a Mom of Five Submits Her Poems - by Renee Emerson (substack.com) made me reevaluate my work flow and my query/essay submission process.
· If you missed the presentation by literary agent Sarah N. Fisk, titled “The Modern Author’s Press Kit,” never fear; it’s recorded right here: Agent Talks: The Modern Author's Press Kit with Sarah N. Fisk - The Authors Guild
· Usually, the phrase “self-care” makes me cringe just a little (looking at you, Gwyneth Paltrow). But this is a super-smart list with ideas that run the gamut from taking a few minutes to sort your books or digital photos to mending a favorite clothing item or borrowing an audiobook from your local library. 99 Inexpensive Self-Care Ideas For Your New Year - The Good Trade
Conferences, Residencies, and Calls for Submissions
· The National Endowment for the Arts is accepting applications from poets for $25,000 grants. Just do it. CREATIVE WRITING FELLOWSHIPS: Program Description | National Endowment for the Arts
· Ox-Bow has a Summer Residency Program for writers that looks splendid. Check it out here: Summer Residency — Ox-Bow
· Syracuse University Press has launched the Veterans Writing Award for a full-length novel, novella, or book of short stories. “The award is open to U.S. veterans and active duty personnel in any branch of the U.S. military and their immediate family members. This includes spouses, domestic partners, siblings, parents, and children. We encourage women veteran writers, veterans of color, Native American veterans, LGBTQ veterans, and those who identify as having a disability to submit.”
· Creative nonfiction writers, check out the Diana Woods Memorial Award with publication and a $250 prize: The Diana Woods Memorial Award - Lunch Ticket
· If you’re a Canadian woman over 50, Prairie Fire Magazine wants to hear from you! Call for Submissions: 50 Over 50 – Prairie Fire
Okay, that’s all for now. Let me know if you want me to include any writing resources in my March issue, and I’ll do so!
Much gratitude,
Melissa
P.S. I rediscovered the fun of my TikTok account. Here’s me talking about the four books I read on the first day of every month.
Melissa Hart is the author of seven books including the novels Daisy Woodworm Changes the World and Avenging the Owl, and the nonfiction titles Better with Books: 500 Diverse Books to Ignite Empathy and Encourage Self-Acceptance in Tweens and Teens, Wild Within: How Rescuing Owls Inspired a Family, and Gringa: A Contradictory Girlhood. Find out more at www.melissahart.c